Posts tagged recovery
Deliverance is for those who will begin

I used to mistakenly believe that deliverance would happen if/when I had enough faith and believed enough. In desperate moments of addiction and shame I would cry out to God with all of my being, "Deliver me!"

Yet, for all my heart-rending misery, for all my gut-wrenching faith, the heavens seemed ever frozen in watchful silence.

I would inevitably conclude that there was something wrong with me, with the quality of my faith, with my relationship with God. Even with God Himself.

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You keep saying, "My body is a temple." I don't think it means what you think it means...

I am 5’9” tall, and for a good, long while throughout my adult life, I weighed less than 100 pounds.  I was a walking advertisement for an eating disorder.  Which, incidentally, I had. 

I have also weighed more than 100 pounds.  Some times a good deal more.  At the times I weighed more than 100 pounds I also struggled with an eating disorder.  Truthfully, the struggle during that period of my life, when I was at a “normal” weight and appearance, was every bit as hellish, maybe more so, than when I looked the part of a woman who obviously degraded her body by unnatural means in order to stay thin. 

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Why I will never say I am addicted to food.

“But—I’m addicted to sugar, to carbs, to salt, to diet coke, to junk food, to processed foods and all the chemicals therein!   I mean, look at me!”

I can hear the protests.  I’ve said them all myself before.  I was a vegan for two years.  A vegan.

 I would be the first to admit that the subject of “food” is vast and brings with it a ton of emotional baggage.  We are all so diverse- it stands to reason our experiences with food would be equally diverse.

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